Just a place where I can rant if I need to. Praise if I can. List my hopes and dreams if I have any. Be silly if I decide to. And if you don't like it...YOU CAN "KISS MY GRITS"!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Puffy...and I don't mean Sean Combs.

Yeah, so my feet don't "normally" look like that. But...now...this is "normal" at the end of the day. Tight, puffy, swollen feet and legs is what I get. Luckily a few minutes of laying on the couch with my feet propped up does the trick OR swimming at the pool (shh, we don't live at those apartments anymore...but no one goes to that pool anyway!)
So I can tell you a few secrets of pregnancy...things no one tells you, not even those "cool" pregnancy books or your friends ('course maybe they haven't told me b/c either I'm weird or it just hasn't come up):
-Pregnant ladies rub their bellies to RELEASE GAS! It ain't because they are all "oh, ah, let me rub my baby", it's because we get gas, bad bad gas, that is only released by rubbing the magic genie of the colon, to have it pop out.
-Swelling feet are uncomfortable, even out of shoes...it feels like you have jelly on top of your feet and I don't like it.
-Pregnant ladies waddle because their legs are swollen and their calves are tight OR because our gas smells REALLY bad and we're clinching our cheeks to hold back the magic smelly genie from exiting right in your FACE.
-You might get huge bruises on your butt cheeks just from sitting on a hard surface. Yes friends, I suffered 2 huge bruises on each cheek from sitting on a picnic table enjoying some tasty Goodberry's. It's ok, they will go away, but your hubby might want to check on your cheeks hourly..."to make sure it's healing".
-The baby kicking, while a reassuring feeling, is a little unsettling...it's just weird. I'm sure I'll get more used to it. Don't get me wrong it's all "amazing" and "miraculous" and I love it...but it's weird.
-You will huff and puff and practically have to throw yourself out of bed even at an early stage because it's hard to move around all this new found baby weight.
Well, peeps...I'd better wrap this up and start watching "P.S. I Love You" the hubby was nice enough to Netflix that for me...gonna go cry (from what I hear).
Oh and just to counter the above nasty pic...I want to let you know, that I'm still one sassy momma!


*marissa* said...

you are so FUNNY! just your title alone had me in stitches! oh yes, the joys of pregnancy :) don't miss it girl, nor do i remember much of all 3 of mine. hahaha. and yes, you are one hot mama!

CindyLooHoo said...

Where do I begin?
*First of all...miss sneaking in the pool with ya!
*The thought of feeling like there is jelly on the top of my feet is not making me look forward to that part at all! Now, if it was peanut butter- that would be ok.
*Thanks for clearing up the waddling mystery.
*At least you got the butt bruises for a good reason...yum yum Goodberry's!
*Pregnancy is definitely agreeing with you- you look absolutely beautiful! And those dresses- super cute!!!
2 weeks until I get to rub on that belly- but you have to promise when I do not to blow gas in my direction!

Breezy said...

I'll try to keep my gas undercontrol! But I do have to say...that I only post the pictures where I look good =) There are plenty where I don't! Thanks though!

SassySouth said...

My feet looked just like that when I was pregnant! It goes away immediatly once that little love pops out!

Buford Betty said...

SO sassy!

Stacy said...

Oh my word, I haven't had the feet swelling yet! But my feet are hot all the time, which is so uncomfortable! And you know how I always have cold feet...

Surf Girl said...

OMG...if I started laughing really hard when I was pregnant, watch out! I would laugh, pass gas, and then that would make me laugh harder, mostly out of sheer embarrassment. It was a vicious cycle!!