In the words of Wilson Phillips "Hold on for one more day..." (or 4 days)

Ok so, I do have stuff to blog about, but this week has been really busy, seriously. I can't go into all the boring details...(I'm at work...shhhhh). I'm headin' out to holla at my girl in Chi-town (and her boy) and will return with all the tales of debauchery on Monday, better make that Tuesday because we don't get back until midnight on Monday. (boy this thing types better at work, I don't know why when I use my 'puter at home on this blog it types funny...sorry for the random thought.)
Just remind me that when I blog next I also have to "tell you what Wu told me" about C.R.E.A.M. (not that kind people, not that kind of cream...)

So worth 20 cents!

So a few Saturdays ago I discovered the vending machine at work had frosted blueberry pop tarts. Since I was at work on Saturday, I had myself a breakfast of 7 year olds. That's right, OJ and Pop Tarts. Sorta makes me mad that Brit Brit and Linds are referred to by that name...the name of warm frosty pastry 'liciousness.
Then this past Friday, I treated myself to some goodness again. Dollar in hand, I headed to the vending machine...DOH! My stupid dollar won't go in...AND I HAD NO CHANGE. Ok, now I really wanted that tart more than eva!
Luckily the cafeteria downstairs sells them. So I bebopped myself on down there. YES! The very same Pop Tarts...Frosted Blueberry. I go to pay...I had to give her my whole dollar! They are only 80 cents in the vending machine...dang, no change to add to my empty work change stash for emergency snacks and drinks. To make matters worse, the toaster ate some of my Pop Tart and I had to perform emergency surgery to get it out. What a way to start off the morning (I know, woe is me...poor Breezy and her Pop Tart catastrophe, but still...it was a rainy Friday.)
I walk to the elevator, heated smelly goodness in hand. And what to my wandering eyes should appear, but...A HOT GUY IN A SUIT! People, there are no HAWT guys at my work! So he held the elevator for me and we began our ascent to...the same floor! Then, he spoke...
HOTTIE-Man, those smell good.
BREEZY- Yeah, I had some the other weekend here and it took me back to childhood. So I figured it was a rainy Friday and I deserved Pop Tarts again.
HOTTIE- You definitely deserve it (door opens) After you...
BREEZY- Thanks.
HOTTIE- You have a good day.
BREEZY- Thanks, you too.
So worth the 20 cents! (Until I realized today, when yes, I succumbed to the Pop Tart temptation again...THEY ARE CRAZY BAD FOR YOU...9 WEIGHT WATCHER POINTS! I could have had chicken mini's from Chick-fil-a!!! I'm not allowed to have them anymore...I've got to stick to the points for a while, the pants are TIGHT!)
So Frosted Blueberry goodness, you can KISS MY GRITS (b/c that is what I should be eating, plain grits, not even cheesy ones...it's ok Pop Tarts...I still secretly love you, but don't tell my love handles!)

The FREAKS come out...after lunch apparently.

I know, I know…I’ve turned into one of you! You people that take too freakin’ long to update your blog. Well, why I don’t have a good reason for leaving my millions, eh-hem many…ok, my readers in a lurch, I’m back. Before I get to the point of the title for this blog let me fill you in on the past week…
Birthday, work, work, work, work, went to work on Saturday-program was down so I left, walk with Rach and Sam, shopping for a new shirt so I don’t look like a loser out on the town, drinks & dancing with some great gals, laziness, work, Sushi dinner with Dad, work…Yep that sums it up, exciting isn’t it? I don’t know why MTV hasn’t contacted me for a reality show of my life.

So, the freaks:
First let me say, that all of this occurred after “lunchtime”. I decided to eat my lunch late today and try the “eat a few small snacks throughout the day” to help with hunger/boredom/weight loss. If I get to see interesting things like this everyday I will keep it up!
Freak 1- Upon sitting myself down for an afternoon potty break, I peered down and noticed the feet of someone next to me. Hmm, cute black flats, but what the? HOT PINK TIGHTS! Now if you know me, which I know the 3 of you do, you know I love me some pink. But get real! HOT PINK TIGHTS AT WORK? I mean, we’re not working at Mode Magazine here Betty. I did contemplate waiting her out, to see just what ensemble required HOT PINK TIGHTS. But, I was very worried that I might laugh out loud. So I began to imagine…did she look like this (well crap I can't use this pic b/c of stupid "stealing bandwidth" rules...imagine the tights, the shoes and jean short-alls, white and black short sleeved shirt, with a pink and white belt...Do you see it? I knew that you could!

Or perhaps...(again with the rules! so now picture gray t-shirt dress with a large silver belt and short jean jacket...picture it, I'll wait...)
We shall never know. Next time, I promise I will wait her out…it’s been killing me all day!

Freak 2- Went back to the kitchen to get my lunch out of the microwave and there was a guy standing at the other microwave waiting on his lunch…or should I say rocking. Yes people, he was standing there rocking his body back and forth. Add to that he was holding a paper towel, make that meticulously twisting a paper towel. I was trying not to stare, it was kinda freakin’ me out…not because people with ‘differences’ scare me (again if you know me you know I’ve worked with and love ALL KINDS), but I have to assume that he was not developmentally disabled. Now I’ll admit, I’m guilty of weirdness…but I usually try to save it for the confines of my own home and show it only to my husband who has to love me anyway (our vows said so “better or weird, richer or poorer and weirder…” if you paid attention she really said that.)

Needless to say, my afternoon lunchscapade was in-terra-sant! I’ll keep you posted on more Freak sightings at work. I tell ya, I can’t make this stuff up people. Weird stuff does happen. Oh, wait I never told you about the weird names that are called over the intercom:
Paper Buffalo - yes T heard it too, they said it. T and I have taken to calling the little old man that delivers mail the “Paper Buffalo” (he’s kind of a freak too b/c his desk is covered with wolf pictures and statues)
Rob Petrie- Ok, so you wouldn’t have noticed that one b/c you didn’t watch Nick at Nite and see the old episodes of the Dick Van Dyke Show…sorry you’re not as cultured as me.
Anya Nipples- I kid you not! They called twice and both times I stopped what I was doing to listen. I mean, why were other people not laughing?! There can’t really be an Anya Nipples at work can there? I had to hold my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

Ok…so proof that cubeland isn’t always as boring at it may seem. I might have to find myself some HOT PINK TIGHTS and all you haters can “KISS MY GRITS”!

You're hawt!

OMG! Is anyone loving how hawt Jason Castro on AI is??? I'm not usu. a fan of the dreads, but homeboy has got amazing eyes/lashes and PERFECT TEETH! Wow! And now this Luke guy...what did they do, find the hawtest guys out there? I think it's TV magic...he looks sorta like my Justin (as in Timberlake)...Did they whiten all these peeps teeth or something? Who knew I could lust after people for their linear pearls? I mean, singing hot guys are always a turn on (example: Clef Hangers...oh how I'd love to hear them again, I know it wouldn't be the same people, but still)...Ok this is very rambly but I'm watching as I type. The singing tonight isn't fab, but the boys are SMOKIN'!

You say it's your birthday (dun duh duh duh dun) it's my birthday too!

Ok well, birthday was yesterday...so I'm posting about it today. It was a great birthday! Went to lunch with the girls from work (though I know some of my readers believe my lunch choice was lame...I loved it!) to Panera, then for some Gellato. Which this Gellato place was owned by this older kinda creepy man. You know the kind, talks too much and asks too many questions, he thinks he's funny, but he's not. Anywhoinwhoville, this place had the most beautiful Gellato of "over 100 flavors, made here daily and at least 28 flavors are featured each day". And they had 4 flat screen TVs, 2 of them were the menus, the other 2 were for...well, I don't know, maybe the invisible people sitting at the 3 tables in this teeny place. We were the only people in there, so I tried to pull some Breezy charm and said "so what's your birthday special?" He said he didn't have one but he'd think about starting one. DANG! That was not the return rate I expected! Perhaps had I done the "bend and snap" it would have proved more successful. The Gellato was good and still free since one of the girls paid for me...how sweet.
Throughout the day I got many emails, text messages, and phone calls. I even got a birthday poem! It sure is awesome that I have so many people that love me...seriously. I mean, people love me...went out of their way to call/email/send card/message...some people even contacted me in more than one way. I love you!
Then (enough of that sappiness) I came home where my sweet sweet hubby had baked me a cake. Ok y'all...he doesn't cook let alone bake. Not to mention he hates all desserts! He even went out of his way to see how he could make the cake low fat (used egg beaters and applesauce in lieu of real eggs and oil) LOVE HIM! He had a card for me, with some poetic words (he doesn't always do cards...) AND he went to pick up Moe's for me. I know I know, not a 4 star restaurant, but it was what I wanted! Plus, we got mine for free! I won't tell you how, let's just say we got it legit...no theifery ensued, but I can't be givin' away all me secrets! We spent a lazy evening cuddled on the couch watching a movie "Amazing Grace"...good movie. He even laid off the studying for one night, just for me!
So, I love my friends and my hubby...here's to a fabulous 29!

PS-We got the detailed results for "the boys" today...and guess what, J is on the upper end of normal in every area... THE UPPER END...again, Fertell-KISS MY GRITS!

Let's Hear it for the Boy(s)!

YAY YIPPEE WAAAHOOO! The boys are "GOOD" "GOOD AND NORMAL"! I'll be honest, I really thought there was going to be a problem, but then, today...I had a sense of calmness and peace.
Ok, I'll explain...because I'm sure most of you (ok, I know there are only a few of you, but...) are like "wah?"
Go back with me in my time machine to a month ago...(lots of smoke and shaking after I push some buttons in the DeLorean)
Me: J I found out that there is now a male fertility test.
Him: Really? Well, maybe we should do one.
Me: It's like $75 though.
Him: Well if it would make us feel better then let's do it.
Me: (dang, I would've have thrown in new shoes if I'd known it would be that easy! Shoes always make me feel better.)
So I travel home that day, in the middle of the day, from work...why? No, not because I couldn't wait to pick up the $75 test, that we would later find out looked like a cheap plastic Barbie hot tub. I go home because as of the past few months my "stuff time", as J likes to call it, has been making me feel like a 7th grader all over again. I HAD TO GO HOME AND CHANGE PANTS! Can you even believe it?! Let me tell you, this was the 2nd month this had happened to me. I went through 3 tampons by 10am!!!!! (Sorry for the graphic details, but sheesh!)
So, I stopped by the drugstore to pick up some pantyliners, obviously needed, and the test.
We (just he actually) took the test that night. 90minutes, or something like that, later...no line. Meaning, at the very least, not enough motile spermies were detected. In my mind, it might as well have shouted "NOPE, NADA, ZERO, ZILCH". I seriously was the saddest I'd been in a really long time. I've been through some sad times, people close to me dying...this felt like a death. I truly felt that we would never have children.
Ok, enough of that "pitiful me" party. I got myself together after a few days. J set up some boy doctor appointments (he had been having some urinary issues anyway, so we wanted to make sure they weren't affecting "the boys").
Fast Forward just a bit...
Went to regular doc...everything looks good...blood is fine.
Urologist...everything looks good, don't think you need a semen analysis, but ok if you want one...blood tests, weeeeeeeeeeeeeell...testosterone is within normal range, but on the low end, want to do more tests, and yes do the semen test immediately-J & B freak! HOLD UP...had more blood tests at regular doctor already, "ok"...previous blood testosterone test shows even higher level...J & B are happier, J still wants the "analysis".
Fast Foward to today...
Him: I'm off to do my business in public.
Me: (lifting up my shirt for a sneak peak) good luck!
goes, comes back, naps, phone wakes us up...ugh...
Him: that was the doctor's office
Me: AND!
Him: They're "Good" "Good and Normal"
Me: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Whew, what a load off (and literally too...he had to go 5 days with nothing to prepare/store up for this test). Hope you don't mind all the personal details...I just feel soo much better.

Fertell test you can KISS MY GRITS!!!

Confucius say:

"This current year will bring you much happiness."

No silly, I didn't actually Ouija (yes, that's spelled right b/c I looked it up...that's "wee-gee" for those of you who didn't attend teeny-bopper girl slumber parties) up Confucius, that's what my fortune cookie said on Sunday. Now, honestly if I wasn't being greedy, I would say that I already had much happiness. Despite many poor pitiful me things I could complain about...I have a great hubby, amazing doggie, the world's best friends, parents that love me...yadda yadda.

HOWEVER! Since Confucius say this, then I'll go ahead and make known the few things I could think of that would add "much happiness" to my life:

(In no particular order...)
-Britney's old body (think her body circa "Slave for You")
-A winning lottery ticket
-Conception, healthy pregnancy, perfect baby

Yeah...I think that's it.

Breezy say...Idol is on, blog is done.
Maybe there will be more blogging later, or not...Kiss my grits!